Color Rush the NFL’s latest and perhaps lamest attempt to make big bucks, feature monochrome uniform matchups on Thursday Night. This week the Jaguars with one of the NFL’s ugliest uniforms already come out with a gold uniform that looks like something leftover from some ugly drapes from the 70’s. The Titans are in baby blue, as their fans continue to sing the blues. Marcus Mariotta is a solid quarterback but has almost no help around him. This will be close and neither team is very good but in a toss-up go with the home team.
It’s been a hard luck season for the Colts, as their star quarterback Andre Luck has been battered more than a piece of the colonel’s original recipe chicken. Luck who has already missed two games with a shoulder and played with broken ribs, is now expected to miss up to six weeks with a lacerated kidney. Matt Hasslebeck won twice as a starter against the Texans and Jaguars, but on the road in Atlanta he will have is work cut out for him. The Falcons coming off a bye week need to get back on track and do, thanks to being able to run the ball with Devonta Freeman at the Colts flimsy run defense.
The Ravens got an official letter of apology saying the last play in which Elvis Dummerville was called for facemask should have never counted since the Jaguars did not set before hiking the ball. That letter will be a memento to hang in the old trophy case as their season has gone up in smoke at 2-7. The Rams always unpredictable are pulling the plug on Nick Foles and starting Case Keenum at quarterback. How do you spell panic move? He is the situation if Case Keenum is your best option, you are in the market for a QB.
Last week Kirk Cousins had perhaps the best game of his career picking on the Saints pathetic pass defense. The Panthers are not the Saints, and at 9-0 need only to worry about a letdown with two games in five days. The Panthers defense should have Cousins on the move all day, which is not putting him in the best position to win. The Panthers offense meanwhile just seems to do enough each week. Look for that trend to continue as the reach 10-0 at home.
Don’t look now but the Bears are suddenly in playoff contention, as Jay Cutler is silencing his critics with some of the best stats in his career. Facing his former team Cutler can get the Bears to .500 with a win. The Broncos meanwhile come in with two straight defeats and a new QB as Brock Osweiler gets the start over the banged up and ineffective Peyton Manning. The Broncos defense carried them all season, but in the last few weeks has been mistake prone. Look for Cutler to carve Denver at Soldier Field.
Last week despite their best efforts to blow the game in the final two minutes, the Lions beat the Packers for the first time at Lambeau Field since a good Terminator movie was released. The Raiders meanwhile have gone back into sleep mode and lost their last two games. In Detroit the Raiders will be extra groggy playing an early kickoff. The Raiders don’t typically do well in these situations, and the Lions with a boost of confidence return home and get a second straight win heading into their annual Thanksgiving Day loss.
The Texans defense is suddenly playing up to its full potential by not allowing a touchdown in the last ten quarters. J.J. Watt who for most of the first half of the season seemed to be missing in action is back creating havoc as the Texans at 4-5 can now call themselves the team to beat in the AFC South. After handing the Bengals their first loss on Monday Night they face the Jets with Ryan Fitzpatrick coming off hand surgery. J.J. Watt plus a banged up QB equals a bad day for Gang Green. Though it could be worse, Geno Smith could get the start and the Jets could get shutout.
It’s a sight for sore eyes in Dallas, as Tony Romo returns after missing seven games in which the Cowboys went without a win. Despite their struggles the Cowboys do have hope at 2-7 in the mediocre NFC East. The Dolphins meanwhile continue to be in NFL purgatory looking at yet another 8-8 season. The Cowboys run game should benefit from Romo’s return and the Dolphins run defense has been bad at times. Look for the return of Romo to be just what the Cowboys to win this one easily.
A 4-5 record is in the eye of the beholder. The Buccaneers a 4-5 and don’t have much shot at the postseason with the Panthers running away and hiding in the NFC South, while the Eagles can move into first place in the NFC Least with a win. The Bucs are quite happy at 4-5, the Eagles are on edge and disappointed. The game is in Philly and almost a must win after last week’s meltdown against the Dolphins. The Eagles should get the win as Jameis Winston despite steadily improving has a long way to go before being able to win road games in tough places like Lincoln Financial Field.
The Chiefs are suddenly rolling with three straight wins to get back into playoff contention. The Chargers meanwhile with five straight defeats look to have no juice left at 2-7 with an increasing chance they will be on the move to Los Angeles. In the NFL teams rumored to move always seem to struggle and the Chargers are no different. Look for the Chiefs to get a second straight division road win as their defense has another big day against the Chargers banged up offensive line.
The Vikings can get a stranglehold on the NFC North with a win at 4PM Sunday. The Packers are suddenly reeling with three straight losses including a home loss to the Lions for the first time since 1991. The Packers defense is fighting amongst each other. Aaron Rodgers has looked ordinary, the Packers run game and Eddie Lacy have all but vanished and people are wondering why. Look towards the golden arches. The Packers struggles began when Mike Ditka began wearing a Packers sweater vest for McDonalds. Until this promotion ends the Packers will be squished like an Egg McMuffin that William the Refrigerator Perry sat on.
The Seahawks season was lost on February 1st when Pete Carroll did his best Maxwell Smart impersonation and threw away the Super Bowl, because running on the goal line was what the Patriots expected them to do. The Seahawks at 4-5 have been in a funk all season, as players seem to have lost confidence in Carroll. This is a must win if they want to even keep their playoff hopes alive. Fortunately, the 49ers are terrible and want to crawl into the fetal position whenever the see that 12th man flag rise above Century Link Stadium. Seahawks win easily, or else.
There was the Waltz, the Charleston, the Twist, the Mashed Potato, the Hustle, the Robot, the Worm, the Macarena, and the Electric Slide. None of those have anything on the Stanton stomp. The new dance that is sweeping the nation so much that the Cardinals get a second straight Sunday Nighter. After conquering the Seahawks on the road, this week the Cards come home and face a Bengals team looking to rebound off its first loss. Andy Dalton showed his ugly side last week, reverting back to his big game struggles under the Monday Night spotlight. The Cardinals defense can cause some of the same problems. Look for Stanton to dance his way into you hearts again as the Cardinals pick apart Dalton and the Bengals to improve to 8-2 behind Carson Palmer.
No team enjoys losing to the Patriots more than the Buffalo Bills. The Bills have won just three games against the Pats in the Tom Brady era, and one of those games was a meaningless Week 17 game last year at Foxboro. Rex Ryan and his big yap will be shut by Bill Belichick again as the Patriots erase all doubt before the end of the first quarter. Things will get so bad that the Bills will be the halftime entertainment doing performance art pieces choreographed to the FatBoy Slim Song “Praise” and War’s “Why Can’t We Be Friends”. When the game is over the Bills the Pats version of the Washington Generals will give Tom Brady a lift off the field sing nobody does it better as Rexy rubs his feet.