2010 Tank Awards

  • Preacher of the Year:

    Steve Johnson of the Buffalo Bills who after dorpping a potential game winning pass in overtime, blamed God for his misfortune with this Tweet, “I praise you 24/7!!! And this how you do me!!! You expect me to learn from this???How??? I’ll never forget this!! Ever!! Thx Tho.”

  • Bill Buckner Choke of the Year:

    The Boston Bruins up 3-0 on the Philadelphia Flyers and one win from the Eastern Conference Finals lost four straight games to become the third NHL team to lose four straight games after taking a 3-0 series lead.

  • Weasel of the Year:

    To Lane Kiffin who departed Tennessee after just one season to take over at USC. Along the way he reportedly called recruits and told them how to be able to follow him to Los Angeles, without having to stick with the commitment to Tennessee.

  • Most Annoying Person:

    New York Jets Coach Rex Ryan from middle fingers at MMA events in Miami, to his appearance on Hardknocks, Ryan has become the face of the Jets franchise as he boastfully claims them to be champs in waiting, when in really they are the same ol Jets.

  • Money for Nothing Award:

    New York Mets pitcher Oliver Perez who posted an 0-5 record with an awful 6.80 ERA, and refused to work with a minor league instructor, before spending most of the season wasting a roster spot, as Mets Manager Jerry Manuel was unable to use him especially at home. On top of it all he refused to appear with the team at a hospital for wounded soldiers.

  • Fat Ass of the Year:

    Albert Haynesworth who signed a seven-year, $100 million contract with the Washington Redskins in 2009, and then refused to participate in off season workouts, upset at the new defensive scheme under new Coach Mike Shanahan. He then proceeded to fail several basic conditioning drills and sulked all year before being suspended in December.

  • Overrated Player of the Year:

    Ilya Kovalchuk who the New Jersey Devils acquired in February and signed to a long term deal has turned the Devils into one of the worst teams in the NHL, as he has struggled to score goals, while his deal as put the team in salary cap hell and cost the team draft picks as punnishment for trying to circumvent the cap.

  • Underrated Player of the Year:

    Matt Cain of the San Francisco Giants may not be the best pitcher on his team, but time and time again he seemed to come up big in the postseason, and was a key part of the Giants run to the World Championship.

  • Bust of the Year:

    Dallas Cowboys built everything around the 2010 season when they host the Super Bowl. They had a roster full of talent but by the end of October the playoffs were out of reach as they started 1-7 leading to the firing of Coach Wade Phillips.

  • The Village Idiot Award:

    To FIFA President Sepp Blatter for awarding the right to host the 2022 World Cup to Qatar a country smaller than Connecticut, with no soccer history, but a history full of terrorism. A country that will need to build stadiums and infrastructure and has not exactly been warm in the past to Western values. Hopefully the oil payoff was worth it.

  • Game of the Year:

    It was everything NBC, the NHL and hockey fans could have hoped for as Team USA faced Canada in the Gold Medal game at the Vancouver Olympics. Canada built a 2-0 lead, with the USA scoring once in the 2nd Period to cut the lead in half. Team USA would tie it with 25 seconds left. In OT Canada would capture the gold on a spectacular goal by Sidney Crosby.

  • Mascot of the Year:

    Puddles given free rein to emerge from his cousin Donald’s shadow, Puddles the Oregon Duck has been everywhere in 2010. He has become a regular on Sportscenter commercials while his football team has soared to new heights, posting an unbeaten regular season and ranked #1 heading into the BCS National Championship Game against Auburn.

  • Pathetic Moment of the Year:

    The City of Cleveland; who produced a video begging LeBron James to stay with the Cleveland Cavaliers. It was even worse when you consider that Ohio politicians including Governor Ted Strickland took part in the “We Are the World” spinoff.

  • Giant Ego Award :

    LeBron James who announced what team he was signing with in a live ESPN special. Of course LeBron was not alone as ESPN tossed away journalism integrity and stroked the massive ego and watched it grow beyond comprehension.

  • Pathetic Moment of the Year II:

    The City of Cleveland who acted like the jilted obsessed girlfriend by burning LeBron James in effigy after he announced he was taking his talents to South Beach. Even Cavs Owner Dan Gilbert took part with a comic sans letter and a tantrum for the ages.

  • Screw Job of the Year:

    To Umpire Jim Joyce whose blow call at 1st Base took away a perfect game from Detroit Tigers Pitcher Armando Galarraga. Following the game upon viewing the tape, Joyce himself was distraught at the error, and has apologized. Galarraga accepted the apology and all was forgiven, but the stolen no hitter must be remembered.

  • Show Stealer Award:

    Four grand slam tournaments, and it was first round match between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut on Court 18 in Wimbledon that will be etched in everyone’s memory. Stopped twice because of darkness the match lasted a record 11 hours and 5 minutes before Isner finally won the fifth set 70-68. He would naturally lose in the next round no doubt still tired from the marathon.

  • New Ice Age Award:

    Just a few years earlier the Chicago Blackhawks were struggling to outdraw a local AHL team as they had become an afterthought in the NHL. In 2010 in front of packed houses at the United Center the Blackhawks ended a nearly 50 year drought and won the Stanley Cup by beating the Philadelphia Flyers in six games.

  • Almost The Best Award:

    To mid major Butler who clawed their way all the way to the NCAA Men’s Tournament Final in their hometown Indianapolis. However, they would fall just short as their half court prayer as time expired fell just short as they were defeated by Duke 61-59.

  • Stayed Too Long Award:

    Following the 2007 season Brett Favre retired as a beloved Packer legend taking his team to the NFC Championship Game. Last January Favre took the Vikings to the NFC Championship and was talked into one more season. However, his fourth straight final season has been a disaster, he has been banged up, he’s played terrible and his off the field reputation took a hit as his streak came to an end.

  • Metophore of the Year:

    2010 the year the roof caved in, it writes itself for the Minnesota Vikings. After losing in OT in the NFC Championship Game, the Favre led Vikings have been an epic disaster as a team mutiny led to the firing of Coach Brad Childress. Then a snowstorm caved in the roof at the Metrodome forcing them to play a home game in Detroit and on the campus of University of Minnesota.

  • Play it Again SamAward:

    To Greg Oden of the Portland Trailblazers who will miss his second complete season since being selected with the number one overall pick in the 2007 NBA Draft. In four seasons Oden has managed just 82 games giving Blazer fans memories of Sam Bowie who was selected over Michael Jordan in 1984. Making matters worse Kevin Durant taken #2 in 2007 is a certified NBA star.

  • In a Fog Award:

    To Tiger Woods who after his extra martial affairs were revealed spent time in Sex Rehab before returning the PGA Tour and posting his worst season ever. For the first time Tiger did not win any tournaments as he missed cuts, and lost his number one ranking. Meanwhile his marriage ended in divorce as his popularity plunged.

  • Rising Star Award:

    Called up on Memorial Day, Buster Posey became the brightest star in a stellar Rookie Class, as he showed veteran poise and helped the Giants win their first World Series since moving to San Francisco. Along the way he hit .305 with 18 home runs, and 67 RBI in 108 games with the Giants.

  • Thanks Dad Award:

    To Cameron Newton of Auburn who went to Auburn after a long bidding war, and was the hands down beat player in the NCAA winning a Heisman Trophy and leading the Tigers to the BCS Championship Game. However, what remains to be seen if his father’s admission to asking Mississippi State for money will come back to haunt the Newtons.

  • Coach of the Year Award:

    Mike Krzyzewski has had better teams at Duke, but the 2010 Blue Devils emerged as NCAA Tournament Champions. It was the fourth title won by Coach K, putting him in elite company. The 2010/11 Duke team is ranked #1 again, with Mike Krzyzewski closing in on 900 wins and the record held by his mentor Bobby Knight.

  • Repeat After Me Award:

    To Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers who won second NBA Championship in a row, and their 16th overall. This win helped cement Kobe Bryant as a NBA great as the Lakers outlasted the hated Boston Celtics in a seven game NBA Finals that put a cap on an otherwise dull NBA postseason.

  • Worst Team of the Year:

    The 2009/10 New Jersey Nets will go down in history as one of the worst teams in NBA history as they posted an awful 12-70 record. The Nets dropped their first 18 games setting a dubious NBA record, and won just 4 of their first 50 games as they narrowly avoided the worst season in NBA history.

  • Surprise Team of the Year:

    The San Francisco Giants, who early in the season were described as torture before winning the World Series, along the way the Giants overcame a big lead by the Padres to win the West, shocked the heavily favored Phillies in the NLCS and beat Cliff Lee twice in the World Series as the Giants beat the Texas Rangers.

  • Best Team of the Year:

    Not only did the UConn Lady Huskies win their second straight NCAA Women’s Basketball Tournament. They did it by going unbeaten again. The Huskies streak dates back to the 2008 NCAA Tournament when they lost in the semifinals. The streak is now at 89 games one better than John Wooden UCLA’s streak.

  • Lance Armstrong Inspirational Athlete of the Year:

    Golfer Phil Mickelson who won his third major while dealing with his wife’s battle with cancer. Mickelson flirted with the top ranking on the PGA Tour, and contended at the US Open all while also battling psoriatic arthritis.

  • City of Hope Award:

    The New Orleans Saints who won the Super Bowl by upsetting the Indianapolis Colts just five years after devastation of Hurricane Katrina. Their victory parade became as big as any event during Mardi Gras as no team currently means more to their city than the Saints who have become a symbol of hope for the rebuilding Crescent City.

  • 2010 Sports E-Cylopedia Star of the Year

    Drew Brees

    Drew Brees may not have been born in the City or New Orleans, but forever he will be one of the biggest heroes in Crescent City after leading the Saints, a team who for most of their history symbolized losing to a Super Bowl Championship. When Brees signed with the Saints in 2006 the team and the city were both rebuilding. Drew Brees himself was also trying to rebuild as he suffered a torn labrum in his shoulder in 2005, which scared many teams away when he was a free agent that off-season. Since coming to New Orleans, Drew Brees has been one of the best Quarterbacks in the NFL, turning the Saints from laughing stock to perennial contenders. With his Super Bowl MVP, Drew Brees has cemented himself as an all-time great who one day could be enshrined in Canton. Now he can just bask in the glory that came with his Super Bowl ring, from increased endorsements to book deals, while being named Sportsmen of the Year by Sports Illustrated.

The Tank Awards are a sole property of The Sports E-cyclopedia, and are the opinions of Frank Fleming, and are not an official award. Tank award image designed by Liam Scanlan.